On Body shaming , weight gain and females.

So today I feel the urge to write about body shaming , self esteem and females…

Yesterday, a colleague I had not seen in almost a year, said to me “Ona, you don dey add o, you are now fat, see Christian mother arms, no man likes a fat woman”

An impulsive retort almost left my mouth … I wanted to be mean and tell him – ” no woman wants to marry a short , dark man”
I could have given him a lecture on why beauty is in the eyes of the beholder or just told him the percentage of men who love plus sized women as evidenced by polls…

But the Holy Spirit won and I smiled and instead said sweetly ” My husband will love me like this”…

Do you know why I could have that confidence?

My self esteem grew only when I started adding weight.

A lot of times , I see women struggle with weight issues, sometimes ingesting dangerous pills in order to stay slim.
It is absolutely unnecessary.
I currently have an hypothesis … That majority of the women fold add weight when they get to a certain age as nature prepares the body for procreation and motherhood. Of course, many women gain weight with motherhood and so it has generally been assumed that the weight gain must be pregnancy induced.
But, maybe it is not… 

Maybe it is just age related…

Back then in school, in my late teens and early twenties, I used to be quite skinny… But, often felt ugly with a face that looked too big for the rest of my body frame… (Thanks to inheriting my father’s face). 

Also having a slight frame and a young looking face meant sometimes people would assume that I m younger than I really am… 
Now, though I don’t even need to talk and …
I really think I m a late bloomer …
But, that aside… Gaining a little weight is never the problem – overshooting a healthy BMI (Body mass index ) is the problem.
For the healthy BMI range, check the photo below

Image credits – Therapy Points.
So, as long as my BMI is still within range, I will just continue to enjoy my new found “Madam look”. 
The colleague that tried to “body shame” me yesterday failed because the only thing I miss about my former size is a few favourite clothes I can no longer wear… Having more self esteem than the former skinny me meant that I could laugh and not feel so bad about his jibe.
To calculate your BMI, you can use the formula weight divided by the square of your height. For an easier option, check the link to a free BMI calculator in this post.

So, dear lady who has been “body shamed” and told you look fat… Except it is a medical issue… Except your BMI goes above the 25 … 30 range –  Ignore all such voices and continue to enjoy you. Another theory I have is that you should only really worry if you are in the obese range.
Beauty is not in the slim looks mold society wants you to fit into.

Beauty is you… In all of the different shapes and sizes possible…

So , stay beautiful, stay healthy and always confident.

P. S. 
I told the guy I was going to call him out on Facebook… But, that was yesterday and the sun could not go down before my wrath… So, he is forgiven and I won’t tag him as I d told him I would. Hopefully, he never says that to another lady again…
Have your checked your BMI?  Please do ASAP.


content provided by NHS Choices



11 Comments Add yours

  1. Jennifer says:

    It’s so common now. Even women body shame other women. I think the important thing is to eat healthy and be fit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. sparrowvoice says:

      True that… And women body shamers will definitely have a special place in hell reserved for them.


  2. I like the fact that you don’t have to fit in….. I haven’t met you “physically” but I think you stand out(to just be as modest a possible… You are gorgeous… Define yourself… Don’t let some man or woman design you…. Don’t fit into the mold… Make your mold… And stay healthy… If you ever are in Benue, makurdi, holla out… Would drop my line

    Liked by 1 person

    1. sparrowvoice says:

      Wow, thanks … A lot.

      I really appreciate your comment.

      Will be sure to holla if I am in your neck of the woods…


      1. all eyes in the woods then…haha

        Liked by 1 person

    2. sparrowvoice says:

      On checking out thefinisherblog link though, it does not lead to you…


      1. yeah its still very dormant….no time for it yet…lol

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Ola says:

    Thank you! Thank you! Beauty, a most unique thing–everyone’s a definition of it, not the society. And yeah we should worry about our health though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. sparrowvoice says:

      You are welcome Ola.

      I find that the more worries I have about health , the worse my health becomes…

      A cheerful mind is first good medicine for the heart and then the body…

      Here’s to better health and life for us all, Amen.


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