On Respect and being female in Nigeria

“I would advise you as a single brother to watch your manners and approach to women”.
If a lady sent this to a man, it would probably cause or an uproar or be seen as just hilarious jest.

Just last night though, I got a similar worded message from him which said ” I lld advice u as a single sister to watch ur manners and approach to men”
This was from a guy who had called me stupid and arrogant in a group Whatsapp chat. I ignored his abuse then and walked away… Because… Anger does not pay the bills. Responding would have been an unforgivable waste of precious time.
Today however, I will address this in a blog post because his latest response touches on one of my favourite subjects – Singlehood and Deception, as well as being female in Nigeria.

In Nigeria, a lot of people assume that single girls above a certain age must have some terrible character flaws. The assumption is that these flaws are the reason why they have remained unmarried.
I am only shaking my head and wondering how all those “perfect sisters” that got married are apparently giving their husbands headaches and contributing to the sad breakdown of many marriages today.
I say the above tongue in cheek.


There is no perfect sister everywhere. 

But there are a lot of deceptive sisters and brothers…

Before marriage, best behaviour…
After… Story story…

My response to the above brother was ” Hmmm, thank you very much . I appreciate the advice. Although , I have to say if I were married, your premise would simply change to “woman/female”… You were particularly rude last week, even to the point of calling me stupid… I chose to ignore it and leave the discussion because my point had been well made. I have no interests in rabid politics… And wherever I see it, I will call whoever is involved out”

This is what I would really love to explore… The first part of my response – about the premise changing to female/woman instead of single sister.
It is usually assumed that if you are a woman, you must always submit to male authority in any community or gathering .
It often makes me wonder, what happens if the female is the boss at work or the older one? Does this rule apply?
My knowledge is that the Bible commands that a woman submit to her own husband, not to the whole community of men everywhere.

Is this understanding of mine wrong?
Can we say being a #FemaleInNigeria is a curse?

Back to more pleasant matters, here’s wishing you my dear reader a Maximally Blessed March. Happy new month.
Love and hugs,

Onaoluwa Abimbola – 01/03/17.


6 Comments Add yours

  1. You deserve all the love you can get. May the stars shine on you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. sparrowvoice says:

      Thanks a lot… Blessings to you t


  2. Ndudi says:

    Those are thoughtful words. Proper understanding is important in the use of knowledge.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. David Ogbeidi says:

    Rich with wisdom and suitable for the mind of people who live in patriarchal societies where marriage is an achievement.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. David Ogbeidi says:

    Rich with wisdom and suitable for the mind of people who live in patriarchal societies where marriage is an achievement.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. sparrowvoice says:

      Thank you David.


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